Pit Stop (Blackout)

Woah triggers arised

It was a quite the surprise

Trauma stops process

I blacked out on this one.

I ran away from God

Into the arms of the very thing that harmed me.

I can’t believe I didn’t see

I remember younger me, only 23

Too much perversion in proximity

Liars leading blindly

And not catching until it was timely.

Sexual assault and rape has horrible stigma

The worst part is when they lie

To manipulate the victim’s weakness

Into deafening silence.

Forced entry I was blacked out

Recover recover recover

Deal deal deal

So I can heal heal heal.

The aspect of unconscious so you can release

You forced yourself inside of me

It injured my process unaware

You lied and didn’t care

But off in the distance was a connected string

In the spirit realm I felt the painful sting

Why did I feel your shame?

I prayed to Abba and I was never the same.

But my process was shattered the frame of my heart needed repairs

I need you right now Father

It was grieving to be in the arms of a man

Who took advantage of me

Something my eyes saw but my heart ached to see

That silencing pain in the silence

I screamed to be free.

And finally… indeed.

Freedom is freeing

No more depleting because recognizing the trigger responses that trickles back to root basis

The deeply rooted ones

The ones that triggered violence.

The ones that caused the blackouts.

The Holy Spirit brought it back to my mind.

Running through that, the triggers promoted pit stops

Ahhh let’s go back and heal that!

Precious Holy Spirit healed my memory

Tears of joy flowed in the silence

My heart rejoices in the Savior!

Oh I can run into your arms Dad PLEASE prepare me for this epic track meet!

FVC©️